Tough weekend, but I want to record this so here goes...

The past few weeks, Misty has been sick. She seemed to get better for a while so we delayed taking her to the vet. But then she seemed to get a lot worse all of the sudden after New Years. (She was out on New Years Eve being social, which is actually unusual for her, and acting quite healthy and happy). Anyway, we scheduled an appointment with the vet for Jan. 9th, but she was acting so sick and not eating we ended up calling and bringing her in on the 7th instead. (yesterday). They did some blood work and found her liver was failing, and it was in the final stages. Her muscles were eaten up at this point, and she was down to 6.1 lbs. She was ready to go. We thought she'd have more time at home first, and need to die later at the worst. We hoped she'd be okay. Either way, we were rather surprised at how bad she was. The options were that if we took her home she'd suffer until she died, or leave her in the hospital to find out if it's late stage liver failure which was not treatable and she'd die anyway, or late stage cancer with the same result. Either way, she'd either suffer or we'd euthanize her. We ended up deciding to euthanize.

We cried our eyes out for a 2 mile drive home afterwards. And we cried for quite a while afterwards. I personally couldn't stop from crying for probably an hour, and Anne went even longer. I've had people I've known die that hadn't hurt like this, and I had decided at that point that I'd never get another pet again because it hurt too much and was not worth it. I was so scared looking at my other two pets knowing that eventually they'd die too. (they're a 14 year old cat and a 13 year old dog so I really don't have a lot of years left with them).

I decided to just get drunk to numb the pain at first. I barely finished a single drink before not feeling like drinking, but it was enough to calm the shock and stop things from being super painful. I tried to get Anne to drink something because I know she was taking it worse, and I wanted her to physically relax a little bit. The stress was overwhelming and I was worried about her health. She tried, but she was too upset. We ended up falling asleep in a few hours and napping exhausted from the stress.

When we woke up, I was still tired, but I felt like the first wave was finally over. I was still hurting, but it was bearable. (I couldn't believe how much it hurt to lose a pet, I really didn't expect it to feel like it did!) I started working towards healing and moving on. I was working to think about the good times with her, and trying not to think about the trip to the vet and her getting sick. But eventually, I knew I'd think about it again. I just wanted to focus on her life more than her death. So I spent the weekend thinking about that as much as I could....


and here's what I thought about...


After Anne and I had lived in an apartment for six years, we finally moved into a house. (My mom's old house as she moved across the street - she sold it cheap and needed a quick buyer, and we were ready to attempt a mortgage for the first time in our lives). Needless to say, the first thing we wanted was a pet or two, since we finally could! Turned out someone I work with had a cat that got pregnant, with four kittens he needed to find homes for. I figured cats are easier than dogs, and they were what I was used to more growing up, plus better for a first pet as an adult. No walking, or letting them out, just clean the litter box etc... So I asked if I could have two of them. We came out that weekend and saw all four kittens.

They were 4 days old! They looked like little hamsters and they could barely walk, it was adorable! There was one they called Elvis that they loved. I liked that one, and they said we could have it, but the dude had little girls who loved it. Man, no way I could do that to 'em! There were two that had a smokey sort of look to them, white with grey, and looked like they'd be quite pretty. The fourth one was more black with a little white, and it looked like it had a lightning streak going down the front of the nose in white. We decided on the fourth one and the lighter of the two smokey/misty looking ones.

Guess I gave away the one that ended up being Misty! Well, we named them Misty and Tempest. Based entirely on their looks. Not knowing how well those names would fit later! Tempest went into heat before we could get them fixed. No pregnancy, but we did get them fixed. And ever since, Tempest has been an ornery cat, while Misty has always been the mellow one!

After a few days at our home, (after they started to eat regular cat food so we could get them), we were trying to sleep, and they were in the bed being playful kittens. Finally I got frustrated and held them both on my chest to keep them still in hopes they'd wind down. They sat there meowing back and forth, and Anne and I couldn't stop laughing at how cute it was!

But later, we learned what Misty was really like. She kept climbing underneath the bathroom sink after just a few more months, when she was big enough to open the cupboard door. So we propped the door shut. (we wanted to keep her away from the cleaner stuff). That strategy worked for a few hours or possibly longer at least. She decided to open the drawers on the side halfway, climb into the drawer, and then drop down under the sink where she wanted to be. Seriously, a cat could figure that out? Seemed odd. But no problem - it may look ugly, but we'll put masking tape on the door and drawers so she can't get in. (after a few days of repeatedly shutting the drawers only to find them open again). But the tape kept coming loose no matter how tight I'd put it on. Then after a couple of days, there was Misty at the door of the cupboard under the sink, using her claw to peel the tape off so she could get in. Okay, so it wasn't actually coming off so much as being peeled away! We had to get childproof stuff to keep them away from the bathroom cleaning products.

Misty would do all sorts of mischievous things as a young cat, but I found out early on she hated being picked up. Her ears would go down and she'd meow like she was upset, and she'd look for the first chance to get let down. She liked to be petted, but only while she was standing on her own two feet! Although over snuggling would annoy her as well. As it turned out, over snuggling was all it took to stop her from scratching on furniture or attempting to sneak out! When she went into closets I'd just shut the door until she meowed to get out and she'd never go in the closet again. She was a quicker learner than my dog was, and way quicker a learner than her sister! (who still needs a squirt bottle to stop her from scratching up furniture, doors etc...)

She then ended up doing this scrunchy thing to Anne all the time, where she'd sort of knead the sheets underneath Anne's head while Anne was sleeping. (Turns out it's a cats way of saying they're hungry or something, but still seemed unusual to me.) She'd also wake Anne up on weekends quite a bit by batting at her nose while sitting on her chest to get Anne up to feed her! She'd have been a 40 pound cat if we let her!

And every day I'd wake up and find her in the same spot in the anime room, in the chair I always sit in there. She'd always want to be petted, and would always come out to eat after Tempest meowed for food with me. She also loved crumpled up paper cups. You could turn her into a kitten every day after brushing your teeth, (which I did), simply by crumpling the dixie cup and throwing it for her! She's go spazzy looking at it and chase it like it was the most important thing! If I did this every day, she'd still get excited, and just not bother playing with it once she caught up to it. But she'd always love chasing it!

**sad parts here**

The past year or so, she was getting older, and would still chase it, but much less enthusiastically. In retrospect, she may have been getting sick, and we just didn't know. She was a bit of a loner cat, so there really wasn't much change as she got sicker other than less appetite, which came much later.

She'd come out when people were around, but she never cared about them. That's what made New Years Eve kind of strange. She was not eating around Christmas, and had some diarrhea, but seemed to get a little better before New Years and stopped throwing up and having accidents, so we thought she was getting better. And on New Years Eve, she did something totally uncharacteristic for her, she came out and approached people! We were ecstatic that she was being so healthy and obviously on her way to recovery! (we thought at the time).

Unfortunately, the next week she went downhill rather fast. I don't think she ate at all, but she acted healthy enough at first that we thought she had to be. She was drinking milk that Anne would give her, and some water, so we thought she was having a hard time getting over something. We made an appointment with the vet for Jan. 9th, thinking we could find some food to force feed her in the meantime if needed to get her better enough to heal and then get medicine from the vet.

I came home from work Friday after stopping at Wegmans to see what they had, (looking for that paste food stuff for sick pets), and ended up just finding cat milk. She wasn't interested in the cat milk. She did have a little regular milk though. The next day Anne and I were kinda on edge after waking up, and I knew it was about the cat. We were both worried, and didn't know what to do. Finally I called the vet again and asked if I could get her in. (this was late Saturday morning at like, 11:30). They asked how soon I could be there and I said about five to ten minutes, so they said okay.

We took her in, and they did blood work. With most of it done the vet said they were going to be about five more minutes, and that they were checking for hypothyroidism. He said that was treatable if that's what she has. We were hoping for the best. Unfortunately, (obviously), it wasn't the case. He said whatever she had was terminal. He said if we insisted on taking her home for the weekend he'd give us some medicine but it wouldn't do much. We could leave her for the weekend to get re-hydrated and given heavy antibiotics, but that would only diagnose what she has, and by the blood-work, all the remaining options meant she'd die very soon anyway if she even lived the weekend. She was too weak for surgery or treatment at that point anyway. He gave us some time to talk and came back in after Anne and I talked about it. We had decided euthanizing would be the best option for her at this point. But I couldn't even say it. I was already starting to tear up.

Anne managed to say it for me. About five to ten minutes later, she was gone. The vet felt around and said he couldn't even feel a liver. She had such bad liver failure there was nothing left, and he was surprised she was even alive that day.

Anyway, gotta get off that and go back because here's the thing...

After New Years Eve, she retreated under the bed. Something I noticed cats do when they're dying, they tend to find a place to be left alone. What makes Misty unusual was New Years Eve. There she was, with a terminal illness, and acting like she had one right up to that night, and after that night. And here I am, a guy who loves New Years Eve more than any other night of the year. And out she comes, saying hello to everyone! I mean, did she do it for me? Well, I like to think she did.

But the thing is, in retrospect, I don't think she was saying hello, I think she saying 'good-bye'. At least that's how I choose to see it.

All I know for certain is that she was the first pet I bought after living on my own. I had her 14 years, and the pain of losing her was greater than any pain I've felt in years, or decades. I felt so scared to go through that pain again I was ready to swear off all pets for the rest of my life. (except maybe parrots since they can outlive me).

But I spent the weekend thinking about her. And I realized now what I kind of knew all along... Even though yesterday was one of the most painful days of my life, to have those 14 years with such a good and interesting member of the family, it was worth it. I'd go through it all again in a heartbeat.

She'll always live on in my heart!



She was the best. Misty, I will always remember you.

So the weekend before Thanksgiving Anne and I went on a Cayuga Lake Holiday Shopping spree! (It's what the event was called). 16 wineries, tastings at each winery along with food tastings and the recipe for the food made. It was awesome!

On Friday there were only 4 wineries doing the event. (more were open but not running the event until Saturday and Sunday). So we hit the four wineries, which happened to be the ones that were the farthest away so it worked out nicely.

Farthest South was Six Mile Creek vineyards. We had to go through Ithaca, and surprisingly, traffic there was horrible! Good thing we had all day! The winery was quite "meh" to us as well. Not bad, but not great. Definitely not worth the trip to buy their wines anytime soon!

Next winery was King Ferry winery, maker of Treleaven wines. There some old dude was being extra friendly to Anne, (the guy giving the tastings), and creeped her out a bit. But not too much. (we've had worse). The winery had good wines, and I can't remember what the food pairing was, but I think I liked it?

Then was Long Point - first place that sold me a dry red, which turns out was a bit of a port. The Amazin' 2007 wine! They were all out of it and not making it again unfortunately. Turns out one grape grew real well that year, but also had fermenting issues, so they had to turn it into a port, and it just came out really well. But they still had some really good wines, those guys can make some great wines!

Then we hit Montezuma. Eh... Not bad, but nothing new or special about 'em. And that was Friday.

Well, Saturday was super fun, but also busy. (in a fun way!) We hit the last 12 wineries from South to North, and managed to get ahead of the crowd by starting at 10:00 AM out there! Wine samples were so small I was able to drive the majority of the trip and still get a good sampling. We probably spend over $200 on wine that day, and got a few great recipes for a Macaroni and Cheese, (yes I loved the Thirsty Owl recipe for that), an Italian wedding soup, (might have been from King Ferry winery maybe?), and three cheesecake recipes but none that knocked my socks off in any way or anything.

We also got an ornament from each winery, (cardboard with gold threading but tastefully done), and have them all hanging from a mini tree on top of the fridge in the kitchen. It looks nice, and every time I see it, I think of the trip. I definitely want to go again next year! :-D

Yeah, I returned to Vana'diel. Not gonna be as gung-ho as I was last time, but I am gonna have some fun with it. I got back last weekend and have been enjoying it. I tried to get my dragoon af pants tonight only to find I need help to get to the NM I need to beat to get the pants. And I was asked if I need help on anything just a few days ago too! (didn't know I would!)

Oh well, no biggie! I still have a lot of levels of Samurai to put on to sub dragoon to 99, and a lot of other things I can do anyway. Plus, I don't want to wait around for people anymore since I'm not taking things as seriously this time!

So far, so good. And now, I gotta take a dump which means I'll be taking a shower before bed!

(not that it's relevant, I just don't know how else to end this post)

So Anne agreed to take off November 18th for a Holiday winery event on Cayuga lake. $50 gets an ornament, discount and tasting at 16 wineries that weekend, and we'll be hitting every winery taking part in the event! There's only 4 wineries participating on Friday, (the 18th), so we'll be hitting those on Friday. They're the ones on the East side of Cayuga lake, (Long Point winery and King Ferry winery), the farthest South one, (Six Mile Creek winery), and the farthest North (Montezuma). Then, on Saturday, we come back and start hitting the conglomeration of wineries that make up the West side of Cayuga Lake! Those wineries are CLOSE! At one point you can walk to three different wineries!!! We'll only skip the wineries that Anne wants to taste at since she'll be designated driver for Saturday. The plan is for her to taste on Sunday and experience why I like her driving me to wineries for my birthday every year now!

Great event on the first lake where I began going to wineries - I can't wait to get out there in the winter and enjoy a walk down memory lane!

So last night Anne was in bed sleeping when I came in to go to bed. 2 cats were on the bed and started to jump over her to get off as I was climbing in, and Anne said "There's one in here". I said "What?" she said "There's one in here". Confused, I said "What are you talking about?" She explained by saying "You know, animals when they pee and stuff." I stopped crawling at this point for fear of hitting a puddle. I said "WHAT???" she explained further - "You know, the pill!"

Turned out she was having a dream where you can give animals a pill if they're having accidents in the house to stop them. We laughed for about a half hour before going to bed. I'm really looking forward to reading this a year or so from now!

Updating all at once because I got too busy to keep caught up. This might take more than one entry...

Okay, so my two weeks started with just Anne and I on Saturday doing our usual stuff. Then on Sunday Owen and my sister came over to work on cosplay stuff. We went to Jo-Ann Fabrics to get writing to iron on our Sailor Moon cosplays. Owen skipped the checkout line while my sister and I went through two different lines. Suddenly Owen started laughing as his mom was checking out. In the parking lot he kept talking about how the cashier was treating my sister, (his mom), like she was retarded by ringing her up and saying "That's a big $1.93!" Next thing you know, saying "That's a big 193" became the catch phrase for Otakon! All day, we kept saying it over and over, any way we could. Something happened at all and we were like "Wow, that was sure a big 193!"

But yeah, we kept having fun. Monday I went for a bike ride while Anne was at work, and Tuesday I drove Mechazawa to Eastview. (I was looking for any excuse to drive him since he's still quite new). Wednesday was the last day Anne worked, and I drove to pick up Owen and Torrie to stay the night before Otakon. After picking them up I took Torrie out to finish her Excel Cosplay a bit better before we left for Otakon. I got her a frying pan, better shorts, and even found a corset that worked perfectly!

So Thursday we head out for Otakon! Not much to say really. Found the first rest area in PA was pretty awesome looking, but we just kept moving on after that. We ended up getting into Baltimore and unloading, and getting into the hotel, and then we got our badges. (nice and easy on Thursday night as always). We came back and were basically hanging around until we got tired enough to sleep. I woke up before everyone on Friday and went to the con before it even opened. Awesome way to go! I took massive pictures of people waiting in line! Then I came back and picked up more people and went to the con again. We got back, and we went again. This repeated a lot - like all weekend! Friday night we did hit the National Aquarium, but other than that, massive going to the con and cosplaying, or just taking pictures!

So yeah, as it turns out, dressing up as Irvine Kinneas better than anyone doesn't attract the attention it once did. However, dressing up as Randall from Clerks II with the tape on the back of the shirt, (P.M. 4 LIFE - I didn't want to get shot or anything), got a lot more attention. And wearing the Sailor Moon, completely with plastic butt and writing, got TONS of attention! In fact, I was even brought into the costume check room where they couldn't stop laughing the entire time I was in there! (They approved and gave me stickers to mark my costume so I wouldn't get pulled in again).

So Sunday we headed back. Not much to say really, just got back and rested up a bit.

Monday was my birthday wine tastings with Anne driving! I think I hit like, 10-12 wineries? I don't even remember! It was NUTS! And AWESOME!

Tuesday we hit a few Niagara Wine Trail wineries, but only like, 2. I kept driving since Anne already drove me for my birthday trip. We also went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II. Enjoyed it immensely!

Wednesday we drove to the Buffalo Mall. We may have even hit Eastview mall later that day just to walk around a bit, I don't remember.

Thursday we saw Captain America, and ended up just driving around a bit as well. Also went to Greece Ridge Center mall. (I like mall walking).

Friday, well, another mall - this time the Carousel Mall in Syracuse. We were able to reminisce a bit about our 10th anniversary there since that's where we ended up that year for it. We also saw a great gaming place, but didn't buy any games just yet.

Saturday we went to Millenium and bought a couple of games. Just seemed like we wanted to go somewhere and do SOMETHING! So we got "Oh Gnome you don't" and "Munchkin Space Wars".

So yeah, figured we'd sit around and relax on Sunday. But no, we woke up and went to the Renascence Fair in Sterling! Turns out that's pretty much a place to drink beer. I'm still feeling a bit of it I have to admit! I also bought a great shot glass and a few mugs while we were there.

So yeah, awesome two weeks off! Overall, I'd have to say, it was definitely a big 193!

Okay, better late than never! Here's my Seneca Lake wineries update...

One day we decided to hit the East side of Seneca Lake starting at Earl Estates Meadery and working our way North on the way back. Lots of fun! Earl Estates has some nice and sweet mead wines that are silky smooth to taste. (It's the best way I can describe it). Anne LOVES the Black Jewel, (the blackberry mead wine), and I loved one that was a sparkling honey mead wine. We stopped at Red Newt cellars and I found out I love the Blue Newt white wine! We stopped at Glenora Wine Cellars and the interior door handle on the Corolla broke. No memorable wines, although later I had some of their bagged Riesling and it was really good. (wtf? bagged wine tasting good???) We hit Hickory Hollow and found wines that had a strong wood flavor to them that I enjoyed as well. Always good for something different. We also stopped at Anthony Road winery, which Annes parents like, but it's just not my kind of wine.

Later, we hit the west side of Seneca Lake, and that quickly became my favorite area to hit for wineries! So here's an itinerary form of my first trip to this section of Seneca Lake and why I love this part so much!

Starting from the Southern tip, the first winery hit is Catherine Valley Estates. They have a Sweet Revenge that is basically a Catawba grape wine that tastes different than any other sweet red in the region. Anne and I bought two bottles the first time we went there immediately! Come out of there and on the left is Silver Springs winery - a very small winery that specializes in Italian style wines, and he makes blends that are drier wines than any other in the Finger Lakes. He had a sweet wine that was more complex than most of the dry reds in the Finger Lakes. I swear he did it just to show he could beat the drys with a sweet or something! Anyway, farther north is the J.R. Dill winery - one of my favorites! The owner is a really nice guy, and he sells Jabberwocky wines. The Jabberwocky white I tasted was the best white I ever had! So crisp and fruity, it just had a flavor I fell in love with! Unfortunately he sells out rather quickly when he makes it. We also chatted with him for a while during one of our anniversary wine trips and talked about the Jabberwocky poem and what not.

A little farther north from there, (not very far though), and you come upon the Finger Lakes distillery. Not the best tasting whiskeys/grappe/rye etc..., but you can try 3 half shots of anything they make, and it's interesting to taste a hard liquor in the middle of wine tasting, so it's definitely different. Come out of there and head northward a little further and you come upon Atwater Estates, probably the finest wine in the Finger Lakes region. Todd and Adrienne went there, and Todd actually bought one of their wines! (He HATES Finger Lakes wines!!!)

Farther north is Wagner Vineyards and Brewing company. They make Sled Dog, my favorite craft beer in the finger lakes so far. (but it is VERY filling so I don't drink it very often!) You can do a wine tasting and a beer tasting there, and they have a cafe with a beautiful view of the lake as well!

Continue north from there and you find - Hazlitt! Makers of Red Cat and Red Cat White. I chatted with an employee there during one of our anniversary wine trips, (always get to chat with people more if you go in the middle of winter), and found out the Red Cat logo of a cat in a wine barrel hot tub came from the kids who now own the winery. When they were growing up, they'd use what is now called Red Cat wine to try to get girls drunk while they all sat in a hot tub they made from an old wine barrel. So they Red Cat sitting in the tub is basically a tribute to their high school exploits. (or sexploits?)

So keep going north from Hazlitt, and follow a sign, and you hit the last place on a trip like this. As if you aren't already blitzed from hitting a brewery, a distillery and 4 or 5 wineries, you can stop at 3 Brothers winery! I went to high school with the 3 brothers, and one of them is on my facebook page. Anyway, for $10 you can sample from all 3 of their wineries and their brewery! If you weren't already buzzed before you got there, you will be by time you leave! They have the passion feet winery, which specializes in sweeter wines, then there's the War Horse brewery attached to that. They're the only place where I've tried a Riesling beer! Then after that I usually hit Bagg Dare. Great wines there, like 69 ways to have fun, poor limp richards, well hung etc... gotta love names like that! And then, there's Stoney Lonesome. This has their dryer wines. Which means I really should start out there one time, but I always go there last for some reason!

So yeah, I think that concludes a summary of the wineries I've visited so far. So many to go too!

Yesterday was the first day of my vacation, and Anne said she wanted to go to some farm store halfway towards Buffalo to buy some blackberries. Turned out they didn't have blackberries there, but it was really close to the start of the Niagara wine trail, so we hit a winery I've been curious about for a while - Marjim Manor Estates.

Well it was a pretty cool winery! They have multiple cherry wines, but instead of having the fruit punch flavor that most Finger Lakes wines, they taste like actual cherries! Now I like the finger lakes cherry wines, but these were totally different and awesome! And to make things even more fun, they even had a cherry wine that had chocolate mixed into it. So instead of "Hey, it's a cherry wine so it'll go good with chocolate" (I've heard that at every winery that's given a taste of cherry wine to me), it's more like "Don't sweat the chocolate, the cherry wine is already in it!"

Well the tastings were quite small, so I had no problem driving coming out of there. So we headed even farther west towards Buffalo to look for blackberries at any fruit stands or farmers stores along the road. We came up onto Black Willow winery. Since I felt virtually no buzz, we went in. Turned out they made a blackberry wine that we tried, (called Black Widow because it was blackberry Anne loved it), and on top of that, they had mead wines! I LOVE mead wines!!! But I've only had Earl Estates mead wines before. Those are good, but very sweet. These were all mead wines with a 3% residual sugar percentage, so they were actually dry by my mead wine standards. And they were awesome as well!

Again, very small tastings so I was having no buzz, which meant driving was okay. I probably totaled 3/4 glass of wine between the two wineries over a period of over an hour, so I was in great shape. Anne picked up a pamphlet at Black Willow winery for the Niagara Wine Trail. We decided to start heading back and look for more places along the way. There was one more winery on the way back that took a half hour to get to that also had beer, so we stopped to try it out. It was a winery and brewery in the same spot - Vizcara Vineyards and Becker Brewing. Both were awesome! And again, small enough portions that I didn't feel too buzzed. I poked around enough to be able to drive since Anne was feeling uncomfortable driving a stick still.

On a side note - I LOVE driving my new car! Anyway...

After that, we decided to take a slightly longer way back and listen to more Japanese language CD's on the way back. Or at least repeat the 2nd lesson again. (I'm getting real close to the third lesson). Plus, we wanted to ride down 104 to see if we could find any other places that might sell black raspberries. We pulled up to what was obviously the last place on 104 before too much civilization meant no more farmers type stores just in case they had them, (they're very hard to find), and there they were! Anne didn't expect me to stop, and I really only did because I had to know that every place we went by didn't have them, since I knew they wouldn't be there in my mind as I pulled in. I even looked right at the raspberries, (the black ones - lots of red ones around here), and didn't believe they were black raspberries for a minute. I saw blueberries on the table as well, and realized that I had to be looking at black raspberries since they looked different from a distance. So Anne FINALLY got her black raspberries!

And now she's making jelly with them while we wait for my sister, niece and nephew to come out and organize our cosplay stuff for Otakon.

Less than 3&1/2 hours to go!

I've got two weeks off after I get out of work tonight - something tells me it's going to be a LONG night! Either way, I'm starting to get psyched about it. I plan on hitting LJ during my time off and writing down what fun I have every step of the way!